After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
