So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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