I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
