I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
