It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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