so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
