It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
God, I missed his penis.
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