there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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