i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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