All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
