you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My dick has a subreddit
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize