last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
