What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
