Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It's blow job season.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Randomize
