Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
