Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
