butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
