shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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