You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
