is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
