3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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