WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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