All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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