the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
