i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
