we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
A bitchslap is in order.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
