Where is the hickey?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
