We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize