I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
