Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
