Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
