Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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