It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I pour the whiskey from now on
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
