I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
