Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
