im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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