I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
