Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
