I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
