i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
