I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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