i will never coherently bang her
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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