windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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