he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
