I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
