My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
