Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
