yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize