The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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