do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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