I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize