Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
