she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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