he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We had sex on a dog bed..
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
