Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Acid is not a monday night drug
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
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