I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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