i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize