I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
