I cockslap morals
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
