Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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