An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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