Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
