she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
