i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
