That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
birth control should be required to get into college
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
