New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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