the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
