i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
