you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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