i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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