no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
