just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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